What’s happening in my life anyway?

Well this blog didn’t last very long. I will probably discontinue fairly soon, but not just yet. BUT it did bring me before thinkers who can help me with my quest.

joyshimmers I thank you! There are bloggers on your site which can help this relative beginner. Their sites are awesome in comparison to this one. Check her out and some of her fellow bloggers and you will learn much more from them than from me.

That is unless you don’t mind the beginner approach. That’s the basics of the ebook I started and rewrote so many times because different thoughts and ideas kept coming before me. Basics for beginners. It’s stuff. Some minor info and ideas. Some hopefully not so minor. Snippets, tidbits and food for thought. STF…stuff. lol It was to be about small business startup but it evolved into self-examination (know yourself before starting a business that may well end, fairly quickly at that) that evolved into avenues of mind and spirit.

I was told I’m psychic. It would help if I knew exactly what a psychic does. I don’t meditate per se. But I think and at times these interesting thoughts come to mind. And they make sense! They resonate with my soul, weird though it may sound to others. They resonate.

What would happen if I could learn to use it to Help God’s Kids? God’s Kids is a rather generic name for the creative force wanting me to help whoever and whatever may need help. Or so my mind tells me.

Over and over I hear “Write My Story” and it wound up being more of a humdinger than I ever imagined! – “Help God’s Kids” and “Have faith”. Help from a massive abuser in lives gone by? Mainly as a male while I’m a female this lifetime? Having faith in a universal energy force I feel let me down and I could not seem to get past that? Which is why I became an abuser in the first place? I joined the winners of the time after being taken over by a hostile group when I had total ‘faith’ my Goddess would protect us! And she didn’t….why not?

Well apparently it’s part of my journey. Besides she could read various alternatives (quantum physics) and this was somehow the best lifepath for me to learn. Like I knew that then. Like I really understand it all now. Sure I do! Not.

I’m trying to evolve and learn something. Just not entirely positive what it is. I guess I just have to keep trying, but some days I just want to go to sleep and stay asleep. Read the part about the rock. So funny I think. Therefore I am. Right?  lol It’s rather quirky how my mind can sometimes work.

Again, I wonder where do thoughts come from? Well if thoughts are things they are lingering in the atmosphere and depending on what you focus on thoughts will be attracted to you. But still, I think some are way out there and strange. I’ve been what? I’ve done what? Seriously? Does genetics really work that way? Or is this all imagination that somehow seems to resonate and has gotten me to the point of writing like this. Maybe someone reads it and says holy cow, I often have thoughts that seem outlandish too!

Who thought them first I wonder? And what parts of their thoughts am I missing that may be pertinent to make me more fully aware? Probably 99.9% of thoughts I am missing that could help me evolve. But evolve I will anyway.

Speaking of names I keep looking for one for the creative force. Can’t find one that fits. God doesn’t do it for me. I figure it’s because in the grand scheme of things the creative force is a little bit of everything and if we pick a name or one version of a God considering all the races and Gods and beliefs on this planet or other worlds, we are focusing on that one bit and ignoring so much else. Expanding my consciousness seems more logical to me.

I’ve got this thing about the name Daniel. His name ends in El. Was Daniel an angel? Not that I know of. I’ve read the book of Daniel in the Bible, but not in recent history. I’m going to have to read it again and see if any of these mindbending ‘insights’ shed some light on why that name lingers so much in my mind.

Sorry about the Biblical references. Well not exactly sorry, but I feel others are being left out in the cold and it’s not deliberate. I totally believe there’s more to life than just what that one religion believes. Its just this lifetime around I apparently decided to live in the US and be taken to Sunday School so it’s more front and center in my mind. I will learn about other philosophies as time goes on (my mom lived to 99 so I may have a long way to go yet) but for now Biblical references seem more front and center.

I was and still am a gambler. Can’t seem to get past it. But wow the ideas that would come to my mind as I sat in front of casino machines. Go figure. I don’t feel the need now as much. Somehow I won. Not money. But I won. I don’t feel so much the ‘loser’ now. Maybe because I’m reliving past events so I can move past them?

Am I enough on a voyage of discovery I am finally finding my way? To where is the question. Right now I have no clear answer.

I was a rock. Laugh all you like. Just a few days ago I think this and laugh at myself. Seriously???

I don’t think we humans are the be all and end all of creation. This rock was totally content and oblivious for millenia. If there is eternity, that’s a long time. Sometimes I feel the need to take a break. Then one day along came a landslide. Uh oh. I’m tossed and tumbled and now down the mountain in water. My minerals help contribute to life. And life expands. Do I believe in creationism? Yes. Exactly who creates is up for debate for me. Some universal energy force – God if you will. But what if all that was created was the basic building blocks and we grow from there? I believe in evolution as well. Am I now a part of the lifeforce of animals, including humans?

You hear those lifetime bells right? I was a piece of the earth just being. I didn’t tell this part, but story line indicates issues between cold blooded and warm blooded creatures way back in early evolution. I was a believer in the spirit world (now how we came to know of them I’m not so sure…time travel maybe? visitations from others? Elijah on a spaceship as he traveled through the heavens? hardwired in our brains?) and the Goddess let me down. The need for saving came along. Now that could have been way before. We wanted to be saved from creatures that could eat us and again hardwired in our memory banks and passed it on to a supreme being to save us. Epigenetics. So I’m evolving. For a long time I was ruthless, but successful. Then I backed off. Was that evolution on my part? Hopefully. But I still wasn’t very honest. So I stayed in the shadows. Few thoughts of sweet motherly females.

So those of you who say change your mind and change your world? What if you have buried in your psyche ‘life stories’ that will stop you dead in your tracks or you think or feel things and you wonder…





Existential me

I didn’t write much on here for a long time. Honestly I thought many a thing and learned much (or is it all imagination?) but I didn’t write on here. I didn’t know where to start after learning more than I ever imagined about this soul. The ebook on small biz startup was coming along nicely then I came across types, nature vs nurture, what makes for a good entrepreneur, deeper spirituality, law of attraction, change your mind change your world, philosophy, psychology…well, you get the idea.

Turns out I really at this moment in time in this life don’t have what it takes to be a very successful entrepreneur – on my own. Now with the partner? Oh yea, I have no doubts. But where do I find such a partner? I haven’t found one yet.

Ah the things I could (and probably will at some point) tell you.

First I will let you know I won’t write on here often. For one reason, I’ll run out of things to write about. 🙂

But I’m a curious soul who has not been as curious as I used to be the last few years. Something was holding me back. Turns out it was many somethings!

In the meantime I’ve bought book after book on various assorted subjects. Maybe all God (or whatever name fits your vision of the universal energy source or whatever  you choose to think of the creator as if you believe there was a creative force – which I do) wants me to do is write on here about various subjects based on those books, webinars and Google for a period of time and even if a few people read and learn something they didn’t know before I will have done my good deed and helped at least one of his kids. Seems like a waste of my time for only one, though, so I’m reaching for a higher goal. 🙂

I doubt that’s all He has in mind, but it’s not as if I could possibly know all His plans. I’m capitalizing and calling this force God for the time being as it’s more widely known, but expect some questions about faith and ‘God’ along the way.

I guess time will tell. Time is such a tattle tale…

One of the people I’d like to help in a small way is Oscar, the first person to comment on my blog. He wrote 3 books. One is free on Kindle and other venues. There are two other books. Check out the author Oscar Relentos.

I will download the free one and see how he writes then pass along my opinion if I enjoy his style.

Now that sounds simple to all you who practically live on your FB page and share and like there. I do not. The sheer lack of privacy in this world today makes me uneasy. I’m not a big fan.

Ok, all of you laugh your heads off. Give me one – just one! – good reason why I don’t appreciate FB in some respects, but am willing to write on a blog. Well the blog is more anonymous is partly why.

But I’m sure buried deep inside my psyche is another reason. I know part of what the reason is. Now the big question is, can I deliberately get past it?

Can we all really change our minds and change our worlds? Or are some memories too deeply entrenched to get past if we don’t know the whole story in our subconscious?

The things I found buried in my psyche amaze me. Now the question is – is it truth? Or fiction? If fiction, does it really matter? I hear tell the mind can’t tell fact from fiction anyway…




A new day has come

Today is August 1st. A new month has begun. And new thoughts come to mind. If you’ve read me before you know ‘thoughts’ have me curious. Where do they come from? Many will tell you thoughts are things. Conscious deliberate thoughts aren’t what I’m writing about here. It’s the subconscious suddenly showing up thoughts I hadn’t thought before – especially if different from prior thoughts or what most people seem to think.

Where’d I come from anyway? What am I here for? Am I supposed to be doing something special?

I’ve been exploring. I’ve been somewhat happy, sad, sometimes totally depressed and rarely genuinely happy and excited. I wonder why not? Just what makes me – me? And you – you?

There are probably more blogs on line than I could count about this same subject and many will think blah, blah, blah and yet I feel this compulsion to write. Go figure.

The first person to read my blog was Oscar. Thank you Oscar!!!

I realized today I am a 10. Well somewhat. I am the 10th born of 13 children – 10 of which were females. I will be 64 years old this year. Yea, yea, yea I know. Who wants to read the ramblings of an older woman? Well, maybe other older women and men who are in self-reflect mode. Or maybe those beginners I’m trying to reach. Heaven only knows why because I sure don’t.

Except I hear this voice in my mind telling me to ‘Write My Story’ and ‘Help God’s Kids’. God to me covers a lot of ground. Not just the Christian “God” even though that’s what I was raised as this lifetime and consciously know more about that religion than any others. We are all God’s Kids.

Is there any possibility I actually am clairaudient? Is that the right word? Considering the woman I am I find that hard to believe. I went to two ‘psychics’ after the one who told me she thought I was psychic who didn’t say anything of the sort.

So am I? Or aren’t I? Were they just not as astute as her? Or were they just not going to say any such thing to me? It would help if I knew exactly what a psychic is supposed to be, too. Would I even want to be one????

Exactly who and how I’m supposed to help God’s Kids I have no definitive idea. Ideas, yes. But I can’t seem to settle on just one. Maybe I had to grow some more. To evolve more. I heard recently – it was Abraham (Esther Hicks) saying we can be slow. Yup, now in my case I can totally believe that.

Am I being sacrilegious? I’m not trying to be. I’ve written it any number of places (that ebook someday someone besides me really ought to read) I wonder where thoughts come from. Especially those I never thought before. 

Ok, back to the 10’s. In numerology don’t you add the numbers together? I’ve read a little but not much on how all that works so if anybody should read this and want to share their expertise, I’d appreciate it. If not, I’ll check Google at some point.

So I’m 10th born. 10 females. Age soon 6+4=10. My birthday numbers added equal 37 or 3+7=10. So you tell me why after all these years and a lot of self-exploration that I haven’t much touched on in this blog yet – why’d I think about these ’10’s NOW and never before?

Coincidence and no meaning whatsoever? Or does 10 mean something pertinent to this little human? Guess I should find out what 10 means in numerology. Or does it go down to – 1?





Snippets, Tidbits and Food for Thoughts – Stuff

Anyone new, check out the intro to get an idea of who I am. Chances are I will change it again. Change for me seems to be the only constant in life. I explore concepts and ideas and scientific finds (basics) and new thoughts come to mind.

Basic question has been and continues to be – where do thoughts come from? Especially ones I never thought before considering on the main our thoughts are repeats?

Is there a spiritual energetic field filled with consciousness that if we tried we could tap into?

Some days that’s exactly what it feels like to me. Then other days?

Is there any possibility I am psychic as a psychic once told me? After years of going to various readers (some were so spot on and you just wonder how can they do that?? others not so great) someone I had been to before told me I have the mark of a triangle on my hand which if you believe in palm readers indicates being psychic. I have to admit I never noticed. Was it there all my life?

Can lines change as you change? Have I grown over the years as I explore and  my mind, spirit and soul are expanding?




May 26, 2019

Ok, so I’ve revamped my blog a bit.

And I’ve learned.

I will most likely keep this blog going. I will at some point offer my writing about self-exploration and small business startup to others; probably free.

However, I’m not a young intrepid go-getter any more. Actually in this lifetime I never was. Others? Yes, absolutely. So is there part of me that is? Absolutely. But – the great 3 letter word of holding yourself back.

Semi bottom line…

I learned recently about a crowdfunding operation. Sounded like something I’d like to promote.

And then…

It’s global. Someone or someones decided they would circumnavigate the system and make more money and fraudulent credit card use ran rampant. Can they fix it? I’d assume so. I know little about Know Your Customer other than it exists. But could I if I had a global sales idea and I got fraudulent credit cards?

Let’s stay away from that shall we? Well me. I’m not so great at customer service and handling that type of situation. So, no, global online sales doesn’t sound like my cup of tea even if there may be more money there. Then again, with all the competition who knows? If possible, know your competition.

You will note I added to the legalese about privacy. I came across this and thought it seemed appropriate to add.

Just goes to show how many laws of lands I’d have to adhere to.

Am I really prepared for this? At this time of my life?


For me to consider being a lone seller taking credit cards across the internet is now being crushed. Like I considered selling volumes of simple basics for beginners info in ebook form on here. Not any more.

Better to know before hand rather than later!

So when the ebook is released it will most likely be free on Amazon or through Smashwords or a program of the like.

What do I do instead you ask?

Well online sales sounds great but there is so much competition with great content writers and knowledge.

Do I seriously think I can compete? No.

I write, but I came across a guy who was a writer and he tells me there just so many writers and its hard to sell writing. Not impossible, but according to him not so easy either. Especially considering my basic premise is basics for beginners and not expertise which is often what people are looking for. Oops…is my writing not to be sold and make some revenue? Perhaps not.

Ok, how about affiliate market for them? To who? Build an email list? I was all set to try this at one point. And the company just as I was ready to start was being investigated by the American FTC.

Was that a sign for me do you think? Perhaps not for you, but for me? I thought so at the time.

Perhaps not. Do I know all the privacy laws and how all this works? No…

How about a website selling a product? With competition like Amazon? I don’t think so…

Oh heck. For someone with my nature (an introvert who isn’t even much into FB) at my age, I’m running into stay away from online endeavors other than my blog. Even that I’m wondering is that privacy statement necessary? Perhaps. I’ve gotten some email addresses. Be assured I have no intent to sell email addresses.

Ah heck…again.

What do I do?

Probably some type of relationship marketing. They offer replicated sites and customer support. They often offer unique products. I’ve explored, some health related, but some others as well.

And the winner is – keep tuned.

More research is needed.

But do you even want to know what a relief this is???? Of all I’ve explored my focus is narrowing.

Oh, wait. You don’t know what all I’ve explored if this is your first glimpse of me. She has explored what? And still a work in progress?

Darned limiting beliefs!

Do you have any?










May, 2019

Wow! How time can fly. It’s been years since I first started this blog.

The ebook changed dramatically as I went deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole learning about me. That wasn’t the beginning goal but it evolved anyway because in all honesty as I was I didn’t have the characteristics needed to be a successful entrepreneur.

While I’ve learned a lot about why I am as I am, I’m still not sure I’ve changed enough to be a successful entrepreneur. Ok, yes I am. I haven’t.

Are you sure you have what it takes?

Who wants to listen to someone who can’t DO it? Then again isn’t there a saying to the effect those who can do, those who can’t teach?

Fine, I can pass along basic information. I won’t make much money from it, if any, but if you can learn from my mistakes and shortcomings when it comes to business, I’m ok with that.

I changed the blog a bit. Its doubtful any of those who read some of my blog read all the posts anyway or if they did, remember them, so no one but me will know. It is better.

Ah change. Sometimes it IS for the better. 🙂



A new day

I’m not sure I want to always be looking for new titles. I just want to write when the mood hits me. It doesn’t always. And little the past year or so. I took a break from the venture in favor of a labor of love.

Don’t be surprised if you see a number of “A New Day”.

I didn’t reread my whole blog and probably won’t. Hopefully something there will catch the attention of a new reader and get them thinking how one small thing here could help them out or affect their thinking to change their lives for the better.

Then all of this will have been worth it whether I’ve made money at it or not.

I will have helped at least one or more of God’s Kids even if just in a small way. That small baby step building stone could lead to who knows where?

Good day all!