I’m back again. This is a hodgepodge post. A little of this. A little of that. I even skip around and don’t seem to care. Keeps you on your toes. lol Its how my mind thinks. Its circular.
If this is your first visit the blog is a bit about personality and what makes me which doesn’t really say much because I’m not a psych major nor am I a life coach or anything in between. Just a woman who later in life wondered what made me as I am and why didn’t life go as I’d have hoped. I explored a bit of neuroscience, law of attraction, the idea of science and quantum physics – ah now that one totally made me wonder. Is this life just one of many? How does time really work?
I wanted to start a small business and started looking into it. There’s a lot to sustaining a small business. Most people don’t succeed at it. I got an offer to make money in a different direction – a labor of love vs making a lot of money – and I took it and veered away from this adventure in exploration.
But maybe it’s time to come back.
This blog is personal with a touch business. I had a few followers at one point but life took a turn and I didn’t stick to it. I don’t appear to have the whatever – nerve, sticktoitiveness – what? to become a different more fun, peaceful, effective, affluent, successful person this lifetime around. Ah I wish I did.
Wish I knew why not. Actually I do know part of why. Anybody here believe in genetics? That this isn’t our first go around and we have deeply buried wounds that come back to bite us? Funny that. We as humans remember negativity first instead of positive. Yup, I’d say guilty of charged in my case.
But time to get back to writing. Will anyone read it? Maybe. Maybe not. But sometimes as I write ideas come to me and suddenly it’s OMG! Seriously??? Is that why I do this or don’t do that? Could this really be? So its good for me. Maybe someone will read it and it will be good for them too.
Anyway its now 2019. Nope, I didn’t make those exciting changes in my life. So Law of Attraction doesn’t necessarily work for everyone as anticipated.
I have been divorced for years and while I dated have not found a Mr. Right for Me. Why not? Other friends who found themselves alone have found others. Why not me?
Seriously, what is so different about me?
I know a lot of what’s different about me. Much is from my genes, from my past before this life and from my recent past. My subconscious holds memories that are bleeding through because I’m told I’m actually psychic but don’t use the ability. Psychic? Me??
But this lifetime I’m struggling with love. Don’t most of us? Some people find it easy to love and be loved in return. I don’t so much…
I’m on dating sites. Interesting places. I’ve actually met a few men from there. None were keepers. Oh the stories you will hear. Yet obviously there are regular guys on there just looking for Ms. Right.
I got bit early by a guy wanting money. I learned not to trust – ok, ok so I don’t easily trust – read more blogs or ask for my ebook which includes some exploration of philosophy without school training and some dream work and neuroscience ideas and you’ll see I don’t easily trust – so I’m not as gullible. But one of my friends was. Oh wow, the stories she told me!
As for business…
I did research. I wrote. I learned more about me. But seemed everything I checked into that I thought I could actually DO knowledge would come before me and I’d hold off. This lifetime I decided to forego being a leader and responsible for other peoples actions and am an introvert vs an extrovert who dominate more of society than my introvert persona does. I don’t need a lot of people contact. I don’t feel the need to constantly be on social media, even Facebook. I don’t take many actions of my own.
So now what?
Sales is often where the money is. Many salespeople are people persons and such charming people at that. So ok, sell online instead of in person you may say. Ah easier said than done.
So what do I sell? A product? A concept? What? To who? How?
I tried telemarketing recently. No face to face people contact but a sales forum nonetheless. Ask me how you think I did…
So here you’ve got this woman determined (or so I say, but obviously not determined enough) to make changes this lifetime.
Want to know biggest change I’m supposed to make?
After clearing my mind and listening to that still small voice inside I heard –
- Write my story
- Help Gods Kids
Fine, I wrote a story. Actually it was an exercise in self learning that maybe that’s all it was meant for. It was a doozy of a story. I learned a lot about ‘me’.
How do I use that story to help God’s Kids? Bear in mind I don’t necessarily believe in God as most people do. Do I believe there is a creative force? Absolutely. Do I believe in the sometimes hard hearted God of the Bible? I believe there is a part of that whole creative force that is extremely tough. Just as a believe there is a part of that whole creative force that is the most loving, peaceful, giving, sweet, patient persona. And conscious. And capable of being anywhere, anytime. That’s the part I wish to associate with now. Prior lifetimes? Nope. This one, yes. But humanity’s story is so huge there are times what we think we so badly want doesn’t happen and we wonder why not and blame it on that force.
Count me in on that. Oh surely count me in. I blamed ‘God’ for many things for a long time (more than this lifetime) and used those negative emotions to do … well, let’s not go there now.
So again I ask, how do I satisfy both writing and helping God’s Kids? Gotta tell you, if any of my newly discovered ideas are to be believed I sure as heck hadn’t been willing to help God and His Kids out in a longggg time.
As an aside, I so enjoy the new show God Friended Me.
So back to the dating site thing. So its winter and this vicious cold bug is going around. It bites me hard. Little nose blowing. Oh no, can’t be that easy. Post nasal drip. Nasty stuff. So cough I must to bring it up. I am thankful it doesn’t get into my lungs, but I’ve coughed enough my stomach muscles tighter. But heck, just a cold? Nooo…let’s make this more interesting. Let’s have her sinuses and ears get infected. Can’t smell. Can’t taste. Can’t hear. Great. Ah c’mon that’s still not enough. Her grandson gets the intestinal virus and passes it on to mommy and daddy and ultimately Gramma. So along with issues with penicillin let’s give her the virus.
Gimme a break!
But I wake up this morning and for some reason I think of the dating site and I think you know what I’d want out of a guy? We’re supposed to tell what we are looking for.
Someone just to be there. To sympathize that I feel like crap. To run out for more probiotics I really need but can’t drive to get. To just be there. And when I feel better just smile as he leans in for a kiss and says ‘welcome back my love’.
Just to be there. How simple is that? And yet, many are so involved in living such busy lives they aren’t there for those they love. Was that me? No doubt. Is that why this lifetime I live a more laid back life? And that didn’t work so well either?
Finding a successful balance in life and business is tricky!
So tell me, do you think I will find a good man willing to love an imperfect woman who even in middle years can’t seem to quite find her way?
And biz once more…
How do I start this small business and help others too when I can’t seem to help myself?
I didn’t have a great success at telemarketing. Could I have tried harder? Sure, we can always learn better. But the person I was working for was not a very willing mentor.
How about real estate investing? I wholesaled a property. Sadly with a realtor who I found to not be very ethical.
How about demonstrating a product? Done that. Maybe I should go back.
What about my writing? Still open for debate how.
Network marketing? That’s a tough one for me. Statistics of people getting involved, spending their money to make more for their upline and then quitting are high. Do I convince friends and family to join knowing full well their chance of success is slim? Maybe 1% of people make the riches. Ok, somebody has to be part of that 1% but I doubt it will be me. But they sometimes have unique products I like. For instance a HGH gel I know of.
Crowdfunding? Hmmm…there’s a program I heard of recently. Not Go Fund Me or Kickstart. I’m going to have to look more into it and get back to you on it.
So this was a hodgepodge post. That’s mainly what my posts will be. A bit of why are we as we are from the perspective of an average woman exploring alternatives.
What drives us? What do we really want? Can we change? Do I really want to? How?
Small business. I’m not able to do this on my own. I will need followers with different ideas. I tried to find a young man who may have been interested. Different sex viewpoint. Different age viewpoint.
But alas, couldn’t find him either.
I really need help. Help! So I can share it on…SharOn.